It’s easy to get caught up in the minutiae of planning a holiday, vacation or other event as a father. As men we are more goal oriented and tend to focus on the “what needs to be done to achieve this” attitude. This is great is life as we do get a lot done, but we can miss out on the big picture with such a narrow viewpoint.

To the average Naples family, vacation time is a busy one. Whether you’re going on a road trip, abroad, or staying local there’s a lot to plan, to do and to experience. Christmas is one such time, that’s full of things that need doing to achieve the desired effect, but we as men, and fathers sometimes miss out on the big picture.

My son ran up to me the other day and told me he wanted the best Christmas ever this year. I immediately thought of all the things I had to do before the day, shopping, gifts, decorating the tree, organizing family and a host of other things. I also do the cooking in our family so I had that to worry about too. Getting the groceries, planning meals and seating plans while my wife looked after the presents and other activities.

This took me away from the whole spirit of the holiday. I had taken vacation time so I could be with my family over the holidays because I normally worked. Americans work more than most other Western countries, so it’s easy to get caught up with the demands of work. Apparently we work a full nine weeks a year more than anyone in Europe. Thirty eight percent of fathers report they regularly work more than fifty hours a week. It’s no wonder that we sometimes forget the bigger picture.

It’s no surprise that the spirit of Christmas often passes us by. With that in mind, to the Naples family, vacation time is an important time to spend together, catching up on what we missed and making up for having to be at work so much.

To make the most of holiday or vacation time, it’s necessary to lose the goal oriented mentality and ask “what does my family need?” This will still involve tasks and things to do, but with a wider scope and perspective. Changing the habit of a lifetime won’t be easy, but it will be rewarding. Try it one Christmas and see the difference in your family. If the change is positive, use it as motivation to continue the behavior with them.

Standing there looking at my son, it was also time to get into the spirit of Christmas and see the bigger picture. So I sat us both down on the chair and asked him how and why he wanted this Christmas to be the best one ever.

Writing your own will is one of the singularly important things anyone can do in their life, even if they themselves won’t actually benefit from it.  Making the proper arrangements for the handling of you affairs is the biggest favor you could do your family.

The idea of your own mortality, and eventual death isn’t something everyone can face when still alive, but it is essential if you have specific desires as to what happens after you die.

It’s estimated that over sixty percent of American don’t have a will, which means the courts are going to be busy for years to come.  In fact, in these situations, the only real winners are the lawyers, who get paid even if the plaintiffs don’t.  The area of the law is called Probate and specializes in wills, disposal of assets and contestations if will aren’t clear or the family isn’t happy with the outcome.

The legal process can take months and devastate families.  The infighting resulting from the lack of a will, or lack of a clear will can cost thousands of dollars to sort out.

It isn’t expensive to create a will, in fact you can so it yourself if you want to.  You will just need to have it correctly notarized and checked in order to ensure it is as clear as possible.  It can be written freehand or a template can be downloaded from one of the many free examples on the internet.

The process is pretty straightforward as long as you do your research.  Your local courthouse can offer advice and will often have information packs to assist.  There are also companies on the web that offer will writing ‘kits’ that contain the necessary forms and information to enable you to write a legally binding will.

If you plan on writing you own, then this advice will help you on your way.

The paper will need a clear title. The traditional one is “Last Will and Testament”, which you should use.  Underneath the title the statement begins.  Add your name, age, address and social security number.

Underneath that the traditional statement is “I am of legal age to make this will and am of sound and disposing mind and memory”, so I suggest using that.  It just illustrates that you knew what you were doing when you wrote the will.

Next add something like “not acting under duress, menace, fraud or undue influence of any person, do make, declare and publish this to be my Will and hereby revoke any Will or Codicil I may have made.”  Just to further clarify you know what you’re doing and aren’t being forced into anything.

Now fill in the details like what you intend to leave to whom and any other details.  Last come the most important aspect of the document, the signatures.  To make it legally binding and beyond reproach it has to be signed by you, in front of two un-related witnesses who also have to sign.  Get a notary to witness the signing for extra legal weight and it’s all finished!

Don’t forget to tell people you have written one and where it is stored.  Make sure it’s somewhere like with your lawyer or in a bank deposit box, out of the way of curious eyes though!